pardon? love?

since that day, i didn't believe about love that much.
no, i mean i believe it but i just can't believe easily,
with someone that say love.
since that day, i was so scared to dream about love,
to think about love,
so scared to fall in love again.
i've learned, so much.
and also, since that day i could like someone quickly.
not so good looking, not so my type,
just like okay he is cool or he is sooo kind and anything.
but the feeling was different. it wasn't the same.

don't know, maybe i am still scared for being in love again?
or still scared to get the same hurt feeling?
even sometimes, i got envy with my friends,
that already have a partner.
how cute they are, how crazy they are,
or how sweet they are.
and i do, i do want to have a partner.
getting crazy together, telling something stupid,
or telling unimportant things, travelling together,
and having a call until late night.

but don't know. until my self ready again for being hurt.
until there's someone that promised me,
will never make me feel sad.
and until i can believe it.
and maybe..
i just kinda miss for being in love?